joke.

Nagbigti!!!


Bata: Ma! Ma! Nagbigti si kuya sa banyo!!!
Nanay: Ano?!?!?!?!

*dali daling tumakbo ang Nanay sa banyo. Wala ang kuya*

Nanay: Loko kang bata ka! Wag kang magbiro ng ganyan!
Bata: Biro lang…dun sya sa kwarto nagbigti.


Umubo ka!


Dok: Umubo ka.
*Umubo ang pasyente*
Dok: Ubo pa!
*Umubo ulit ang pasyente*
Dok: Ok.
Pasyente: Ano po ba ang sakit ko, dok?
Dok: May ubo ka.



Sa Simbahan…


Ale: Lord, bigyan ninyo ako naman po ako ng isang libo kasi ang anak ko nasa hospital, wala po akong pambayad.
Narinig ito ng isang pulis, naawa sya sa ale kaya’t binigyan nya ito ng P500.
Ale: Lord, salamat po, pero next time sana huwag na ipadaan sa pulis, nabawasan agad o.



Syotang mataba!


Jose: Hihiwalayan ko na yung syota kong mataba!
Pedro: Bakit naman pare?
Jose: Kasi pagkinakain ko sya, tumataas cholesterol ko!



Hey Joe!


Juan: Pedro, sabihin mo nga doon sa Kano na bukas ang bag niya.
Pedro: Hey, Joe! Your bag is tomorrow!



Ngongo on trial!


Judge: Hinawakan moba ang hita ng babaeng ito?!
Ngongo: Hini po, hini po your onor!!!
Judge: PILOSOPO!! Hinawakan o hinipo, pareho lang yun! GUILTY!



Multo sa kusina


Junior: Tay, may multo daw sa kusina natin?
Tatay: Anak, sino naman nagsabi sayo nyan?
Junior: Si ate po!
Tatay: Ay nako, wag ka nga magpapaniwala dun! Wala namang multo eh! Ang mabuti pa samahan mo na lang ako sa kusina, at iinom lang ako ng tubig…



Magiging tatlo na!


Misis: Honey, malapit na tayo maging tatlo dito sa bahay!
Mister: Talaga ba Honey? Pinasaya mo ako sa balita mo!
Misis: Oo, dito na titira ang nanay ko!



Tuwing alas otso


Pasyente: Dok, may problema ako, tuwing alas otso ng umaga e jumejebs ako…
Dok: O wala namang masama dun a.
Pasyente: Dok alas nwebe ako gumigising e!



Palit ng pwesto


Juan: Boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun pwesto sa manager natin na kamamatay lang?
Boss: Ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung papayag ang punerarya.



Milagro!


Juan: Father, nakita ko po si Pedrong Pilay kanina nagdarasal sa altar! Tapos, itinapon nya nyung mga saklay nya!
Pari: Isang milagro!!! Asan na si Pedrong pilay ngayon?
Juan: Andun pa po, nakadapa at dugodugo ang ilong.



Unang boyfriend!

Sa unang gabi ng bagong kasal…

Lalaki: xxxx ina! Akala ko ba ako ang una mong boyfriend?! Bakit hindi ka na virgin?!?!
Babae: Maniwala ka sa akin! Ikaw ang una kong boyfriend! Yung mga iba, customer lang!!!



Tissue


Erap: xxxx ina! Na-iputan ako ng ibon!
Bodyguard: Kukuha po ako ng tissue sir…
Erap: Wag na! Pano mo pa pupunasan pwet non e nakalipad na? xxxxx!



Listahan ng paborito


Amo: Indya, darating ang biyenan ko at titira sya dito ng tatlong buwan. Ito ang listahan ng mga paborito nyang pagkain.
Inday: Opo sir.
Amo: Kapag may niluto ka dyan, maghanap ka na ng ibang trabaho!



Away!

Junior: Tay, gago yung mga tambay sa kanto! Napa-away tuloy ako!
Tatay: Bakit anak?
Junior: Tinawag ba naman akong bakla!
Tatay: Anong ginawa mo? Sinuntok mo sila? Junior: Hindi tay hinampas ko sila ng shoulder bag ko. Chura nila!



Face of a saint!


Boyfriend: Hon, sa tingin mo ba, pangit ako?
Girlfriend: Hindi a! Sa katunayan, you have the face of a saint!
Boyfriend: Talaga hon? Sinong saint naman?
Girlfriend: St. Bernard!



Kanin


May magsyota kumakain nang mapansin ng babae na may kulangot ang boyfriend nya malapit sa labi. Para di mapahiya ang lalaki…
Babae: Honey, may kanin sa malapit sa labi mo…
Lalaki: Ah talaga? *Kinuha ang kulangot at sinubo* O, sabi mo kanin, ulam pala!


First time!


BF: O bat nanginginig ka?!
GF: Sorry baby, ngayon lang kasi ako nakapasok sa motel. Ang ginaw pala.
BF: O sige hihinaan ko…asan ba yung remote ng aircon?
GF: Nakatago sa gilid ng drawer bandang kanan yung kulay puti!


Ala-ala


GF: Alam mo, pag hawak ko ang bote ng softdrinks, naalala ko ex ko…
BF: Ako kelan mo naalala?
GF: Pagsubo ko na yung straw!



Dun tayo sa dilim…

BF: Dun tayo sa liblib at madilim!
GF: Tara!
Nagpunta sila sa liblib at madilim. Naghubad ng pantalon ang lalaki.
GF: Bat ka naghubad? Maghuhubad narin ba ako?
BF: Bakit? Tatae ka rin?



Downy?


GIRL: Ang puti naman ng bird mo…
BOY: Syempre! Likas papaya ata gamit ko diyan!
GIRL: Ginagamitan mo rin ba ng Downy?
BOY: Bakit? Mabango ba?
GIRL: Lambot eh!!!



Gusto mo pa?


Katapos mag-sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng babae sa etits ng lalaki…
BF: Gusto mo pa ulit?
GF: Hindi, namimiss ko lang…meron kasi ako nito dati e.



Dalawang beses!


GF: hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa ito? hindi na ako virgin at dalawang beses pa nating ginawa!
BF: ano? isa lang ah?!
GF: bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!



69 Tayo!!!


GIRL : Mag-69 tayo!
BOY : Pano ba yun?
GIRL : Ganito lang…
(Pumwesto na sila at biglang nautot ang girl ng 4 na beses)
BOY : Ayoko na! DI KO NA KAYA YUNG NATITIRANG 65!



Sayang din kasi


Sa kanilang honeymoon…
Lalaki: O honey, bat parang malungkot ka? Hindi ka ba masaya na pinakasalan kita kahit dati kang GRO?
Babae: Masaya naman, pero iniisip ko lang…ngayon pag magsesex tayo hindi mo na ako babayaran. Sayang din kasi…



Lolokohin ko asawa ko!


Babae: Lolokohin ko ang asawa ko! Magpapanggap akong pokpok at aabangan ko sya sa kanto!
*naghintay ang babae sa kanto, makaraan ang ilang minuto, dumaan ang asawa nya*
Babae: Pssst! Pogi! Good time tayo!
Lalaki: Ayoko sayo, kamuka mo asawa ko!



Kabayo!


Babae: Hon, sino si Julia?
Lalaki: Ah, kabayo yun! Yung pinustahan ko sa karera kahapon.
Babae: Ah ganon? Sige, sagutin mo yung telepono, asa linya yung kabayo mo!



Maglalaslas ako!!!


Babae: Iiwan na kita! Wala kang kwentang asawa!
Lalake: Sige! Kapag iniwan mo ako, maglalaslas ako!
Babae: Gago! Magpatuli nga takot ka, maglaslas pa?! Supooooot!



Magastos!


Babae: Tama na yang kakainom mo ng beer! Ang gastos!
Lalaki: Bakit? Mas magastos nga yang mga makeup mo!
Babae: Nagpapaganda ako para iyo!
Lalaki: Ako umiinom para gumanda ka!



Walang gana


Lalaki: Malamig na sinangag, matabang na kape, maalat na sabaw, paano ba naman ako gaganahan nito?
Babae: Maasim na itlog! Malambot na etits! Malaking tyan! Kala mo ba ginaganahan ako?!


Nanalo ako sa lotto!!!


Wife sumisigaw: Honey magimpake ka na, nanalo ako sa lotto!!!
Husband: Wow Honey ayos! Anong dadalhin ko?
Wife: Wala akong pakialam basta LUMAYAS ka na!!!



Wala akong panty…


Si misis gusto magsex, inaakit si mister…
Misis: Honey, wala akong panty ngayon…
Mister: Ah ganon ba? Wag ka mag-alala, ibibili kita bukas!



Lasing ka nga!


Misis: Inumaga ka na naman! Lasing ka no?!
Mister: Honey, hindi ako lasing. Uminom lang kami ng mga officemates ko!
Misis: Gago! Lasing ka nga! Wala ka namang trabaho pano ka magkaka-officemates?!



Delayed ng isang buwan!


Misis: Delayed ako nang one month pero huwag mo munang ipagsabi.Nahihiya ako…
Mister: Okey.
Kinabukasan, dumating ang taga-Mercalco. ..
Taga-Meralco: Misis, delayed po kayo ng one month.
Misis: Ha? Bakit mo alam?
Taga-Meralco: Nasa record po.
Mister: Bakit naka-record diyan na delayed ang misis ko?
Taga-Meralco: Kung gusto ninyong mawala sa record, magbayad kayo!
Mister: Eh kung ayokong magbayad?
Taga-Meralco: Puputulan kayo!
Mister: Eh anong gagamitin ni misis?
Tag-Meralco: Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng kandila



Virgin wife


Sa honeymoon ng bagong kasal…
Wife: Sweetheart, wag mo akong bibiglain ha…virgin pa ako…
Husband: Talaga?
Wife: Oo sweetheart. O sige, ipasok mo na…
Husband: Eh kanina pa nakapasok no!
Wife: Ah ganon ba? Aray pala!



Problemang mag-asawa


Mister: Di ko na kaya problema ko!
Misis : Hon, problema natin ito, tayo ang magkasama sa buhay, lahat ng problema mo problema ko…ano bang problema natin?
Mister: Buntis si Inday, tayo ang ama!



Taning


Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let’s makelove.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw,hindi na.



Padagdag pa!


Misis: Love, may mga friends ako na nagpa-enhance ng boobs. Okey lang ba sayo kung magpadagdag din ako?
Mister: Ewan ko, parang hindi yata bagay sa’yo ang tatlong suso!



Ang huling paalam…


Husband: Kung di ako makaligtas sa operasyon ko bukas, ikaw na sana ang bahala sa lahat lahat…I LOVE YOU!
Wife : Tumigil ka! wala pang namamatay sa TULI!



Hello?!


Wife: hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
Husband: hello!? electrician ba ako?
Wife: eh di pakigawa na lang hagdan natin.
Husband: hello!? karpintero ba ako?
Umalis si husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ang sira sa bahay. Tinanong niya wife niya kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.
Wife: kasi kanina may mama nakita akong umiiyak, sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay. So sabi nya aayusin daw nya lahat, ang bayad e sex o kaya pagback ko sya ng cake.
Husband: so pinag-bake mo siya ng cake?
Wife: hello?! baker ba ako?!



Kumpisal

Babaeng nangungumpisal: Father, sa tuwing nakakarinig po ako ng nagmumurang lalaki e di ko mapigilang makipagtalik sa taong yon!!!
Pari: xxxx ina, di nga?



Naninilip na sakristan


Pari: Balita ko sinilipan mo si sister!
Sakristan: Patawarin nyo po ako father.
Pari: Ano naman ang mga nakita mo sa kanya?
Sakristan: Wala po. Kasi nakaharang yung pwet nyo.



Sa Binyagan…


Sa isang binyagan:

Pari (habang hinahawakan ang ulo ng bata): Aba misis, parang anlambot naman ng ulo ng bata!
Misis: Suso ko po yan father.

BTC BRISTOL TATTOO CLUB | THE SKUSE FAMILY — GENERATIONS OF KILLER INK

BTC BRISTOL TATTOO CLUB | THE SKUSE FAMILY — GENERATIONS OF KILLER INK: "

*

Dueling tattoo legends & bosom buddies-- Al Schiefley (left) & Les Skuse (right)

*

Yep.  On a tattoo kick again.  Check out these sick pics and you’ll know why.  This ain’t no Miami Ink — this is Olde School, Hard-Ass Tats.

The legendary tattooist, and founder of the Sandusky Tattoo Club, Al Schiefley lived and worked out of Sandusky, Ohio where he opened his famous Pearl Street shop that dutifully operated for over a quarter of a century.  The photo above was taken back in mid 1950s during Al’s travels abroad, and shows him seemingly double-teaming a well-inked young lady (with a strange sense of humor) alongside his host and fellow tattoo master — Les Skuse, President of the famed Bristol Tattoo Club.  While in Bristol, Al had the honor of being tattooed by Skuse, as well as the respected London tattooist, Rich Mingins.

*

*

The Skuse family have a rich heritage in the art of tattooing — dating back well over 80 years. It all started with founder Les Skuse, who started the Bristol business back in 1928. Through his years of inking that brought him recognition in Bristol and abroad, Les Skusee was ultimately awarded the title of Champion Tattoo Artist of all England for his advancements in tattoo artistry and techniques.

*

This 1950s pic of Les Skuse and members of the Bristol Tattoo Club shows them holding their club's calling card. For recognition purposes, every member is secretly inked somewhere on their body with the club insignia -- a black bat.

*

From The Skuse Family History–

Les Skuse was born, lived and died in the port town of Bristol, England. He became the town’s most famous tattoo export and was almost as well known on American shores as he was at home. He visited the United States in 1956 and corresponded with many American tattooists. He was a big admirer of the Coleman School of tattooing as practiced by Paul Rodgers, Huck Spaulding, Al Schiefley and others.

In 1956, Skuse stated in a letter: “English tattooists were using a single needle. This caused a lot of bleeding and pain. This finished design looked very thin and scratchy when compared with the strong, well-shaded designs done in the United States.”

*

*

The right-handed Skuse started his tattoo career in 1928 at the shop of Joseph Hartley, who was probably Bristol’s one and only tattoo artist before Skuse. Hartley was a long time tattooist/supplier in this area and was located at 2 Blackfields, near Stokes Croft, Bristol, England.

Skuse stated: “Professor Joe Hartley fixed me up with a Japanese hand tattooing outfit, and began to work on some of my friends. It was not long before I had earned the price of a six-volt combination tattoo machine.” Skuse is said to have stayed with Hartley until World War II, when he enlisted in the Royal Artillery. After five years of tattooing the troops, he got out, settled back into Bristol and opened his first shop. Les Skuse was located in at least three different storefronts in Bristol; 57 and 97 Lower Ashley Road, and 71 Mina Road.

*

*

Undoubtedly two of the major accomplishments that etched Les Skuse’s name into tattoo history were the formation of the British Guild of Tattooing and the Bristol Tattoo Club. These organizations were given worldwide publicity by both the British and overseas presses, and kept Skuse in the limelight during the 1950s.

Riding on this wave of popularity, Skuse was voted the Champion Tattoo Artist of All England in 1955. The next few years brought an international exchange of tattoo ideas, with Skuse visiting the U.S., and Milton Zeis and Al Schiefley visiting England.

Les Skuse died in 1973. The most fitting tribute I can find for Les Skuse died from a 1957 letter: “I have always been ready and willing to learn, never thinking I knew it all and continually searching for ways in which to improve my work and equipment. It is my firm belief that the more tattooists meet, correspond and exchange ideas, the better it will be both for the individual and the profession.”

*

*

When Les Skuse died in 1973, Les Skuse Junior (Danny) took over his shop on Mina Road. Danny worked up to 1990 when he retired from the day to day running of the studio. He did however decide to work along side his lifelong friend Ron Ackers of Portsmouth and traveled around the world working at conventions, which he is still doing today. Danny is Jimmie’s Father and Brother of Billy.

At the time when Danny took over the Mina Road shop, Les Skuse Senior’s other son Billy was tattooing in Aldershot, Hampshire, alongside his wife Rusty Skuse, who was featured in the Guinness Book Of Records for being the most tattooed woman in England. Billy is Jimmy’s Uncle and Brother of Danny.

Jimmie Skuse started tattooing over 30 years ago when he worked alongside his father Danny at the age of thirteen. Jimmie established the Temple Street shop in 2004. Prior to that he worked as a guest artist in many studios throughout the West of England. Jimmie is the Grandson of Les Skuse.

*

*

*

*

*

**

*

The legendary Janet "Rusty" Skuse

*

Another English tattoo legend - Ron Ackers

*

"

Blessed Are The Children

Blessed Are The Children: "

Rush Crush, originally uploaded by Dave Gorman.

I was sitting on the the tube the other day, reading a newspaper, minding my own business, when a woman got on the train accompanied by two impossibly cute daughters. I'd guess they were 7 and 8 years of age.

The woman sat down and instantly started reading a very well thumbed copy of the bible. Her two daughters tugged at her sleeves a couple of times and tried to engage 'Mummy' in conversation but she didn't look up from her book. So the kids decided to entertain themselves. They achieved this by taking a pile of leaflets from their Mum and walking up and down the carriage handing them to the other passengers.

The leaflets were advertising a church and looked to be full of quotations from the bible. I really don't know how I feel about this sort of thing. Actually, that's not true. I do know. I don't like it. I don't really think a parent should sit back and tacitly encourage their kids to engage in that kind of activity.

Faith - like politics - is contentious. People are entitled to their opinions and those opinions are often strongly felt. A grown up handing out such leaflets is, presumably, prepared for either rejection or debate - in a way an eight year old girl simply isn't.

A few people accepted the leaflets while others rejected them politely but there was a real sense of discomfort in the carriage. I certainly felt compromised when they thrust a leaflet my way. You look down at two eager, smiling, cute kids and you naturally want to make them happy. But I didn't want to give my tacit approval for the leaflet. I also figured that if a parent is going to encourage their kids to hand out that kind of literature, they have to have prepared them for the idea that not everyone would want them. So I smiled, gestured to my newspaper, in a look-I'm-reading-something way and said, 'No, thanks.'

They smiled, walked off and continued trying to hand out the leaflets to other people. I reckon about a third of people declined politely. Of the two thirds who took the leaflets... the vast majority just glanced at them before shoving them in a jacket pocket or leaving them on the seats. I think I saw one person actually reading the whole of it.

When the girls had approached everyone in the carriage, the younger of the two suggested to the other that they should go back to the people who hadn't taken the leaflets. The older girl thought about it for a moment and wasn't sure what to do, but just then the train arrived at a station where a couple of people left and four or five people joined the train. Fresh quarry... the girls were off.

It didn't take long. Two people accepted the leaflets. Three didn't. And once again the girls had nothing to do. Once again they discussed the merits of whether or not to approach those of us who'd declined their literature but this time they decided not to on the grounds that those were 'bad people.'

Now, for the sake of clarity, I'll make it clear that I wasn't straining to listen in to their conversation. They were propping themselves up against the two seats directly opposite me and they were talking in loud, un-self-conscious voices so that anyone within five yards of them could hear every word. Including their mother... who was still reading her bible.

So now I'm sitting there, hearing two young girls tell each other that I - and a third of the other passengers on the train - are bad people. It got worse. They continued by deciding that we were all going to go to hell. Proper hell. With lots of flames and things because the devil was going to punish us because we weren't interested in the good message that God wanted them to share with the world.

Along with a few other people I was being loudly condemned to hell by a pair of sisters, a few years shy of their tenth birthday... and their mother was sat there hearing them say it and doing nothing about it.

Now, as I don't believe in hell I think it's an empty threat... but even so, I think it's a hateful way to behave and wildly inappropriate for a parent to sit there allowing their kids to do so. If you want to bring your kids up with faith that's one thing... but the minute you want them to go out into the world on a recruitment drive you have a duty to explain to them that there are other views in the world and that people who hold them don't necessarily take kindly to being called evil. But what do you do?

I certainly wasn't going to try and remonstrate with two kids. I have no idea how much of what they were saying they understood let alone really believed. More than anything, I felt sorry for those kids. With an upbringing like that, I don't know how they have a chance of growing up as reasonable, balanced adults. Of course they're going to believe strange, hateful things if that's how they're raised. No, the person I had a problem with was obviously the mother. Whether or not the kids understood how much hate was contained in their words I couldn't tell you... but their mother sure should have done and in saying nothing to counter it she was sending out a strong message of approval.

I know I probably should have done nothing. I know I should have just got off the train and gone about my business, dismissing it as just another bit of eccentricity in the world, but I figured I had as much right to hand out literature expressing my point of view as they did. So I did.

We were approaching my stop so I hastily scribbled a few words on a scrap of paper and then, trying to do so in a way that her kids wouldn't notice, I handed it to the mother. I know it will have achieved nothing. I know the chances of that woman seeing any fault in her behaviour or that of her offspring is zero... but it still made me feel better to have done something. At least I didn't sit by and give their behaviour my tacit approval.

The words on my note were: 'I find being condemned to hell by your children upsetting. They are learning to hate.'

Like I say, it won't have made a jot of difference to anything or anyone but me. The children? You have to forgive them, they know not what they do. But their Mum does. And it's horrible.

"

Google Dashboard Provides a Top-Down Look at Your Google Use [Google]

Google Dashboard Provides a Top-Down Look at Your Google Use [Google]: "

Ever wanted to take a step back and look at all the Google apps and data you're hooked into? Google's offering that top-down view with Google Dashboard, a central clearinghouse for app settings, privacy information, and use statistics.

The main value to the average user at the Dashboard, reachable at google.com/dashboard when signed into a Google account, is a peek at all the services you use, the data Google's acquired from you, and quick links to each app's settings. You also get direct links to your Google calendars, your most recent Gmail messages and Google Docs documents, and secondary settings, like changing your personal information in apps that use that data. Those with privacy concerns also get quick links to the policies of every app they're using.

Here's how Google explains their Dashboard in animated video form:

What features would you want to see added to a Google Dashboard? Personally, I'd like to see a single, secure place to suspend or recover passwords from certain accounts, assuming you could log in with stronger-than-normal verification.

Transparency, choice and control - now complete with a Dashboard! [Official Google Blog]

"

Upgrade your career

Upgrade your career: "

Do you like your job?

Do you enjoy the people you work with?

Would you want to have lunch with them? Every day? Alex Papadimoulis thinks that Fog
Tyler Griffin Hicks-Wright Creek’s free lunches are “cultish,” but everyone at Fog Creek loves them. Maybe it’s the mandatory brain implant we install in each new worker, but I like to think that we just enjoy eating together because we genuinely like each other and like spending time together. If you can’t imagine eating lunch every day with your coworkers, I hate to break it to you: you might not like them. Is it OK to spend most of your waking hours with people you don’t like?

Do you actually enjoy doing your job? If you wake up an hour early in the morning, do you think, “Yay! I can go in early and get another hour of work in!” Or does that sound ridiculous to you?

Are you learning? When was the last time you had to learn a new skill? Is this year kind of like last year, or are you doing something new, stretching yourself, challenging yourself to be better?

At one of the recent DevDays events, I asked the audience (almost 100% programmers) how many of them were incredibly satisfied with their job, found it fulfilling, and were treated well by their employers. Only about 25% of the hands went up. I asked how many people either hated their job and couldn’t wait to find something better, or were actually actively on the job market. Again, about 25%. The rest were somewhere in the middle: maybe they can tolerate their job, but they’re keeping an eye open for something better.

Who is this DevDays audience? They’re the elite of the elite of the best programmers out there. They’re the people who participate in Stack Overflow, the people who read, the people who are constantly trying to learn more about programming and software development. More than half of them paid their own money to attend a one day conference. They’re the most desirable software developers on the planet. And 75% of them are not delighted with their job.

That’s unacceptable. I’ve been saying for ten years that the top developers have a choice of where to work, and the top employers need to work harder to attract them, because the top developers get ten times as much work done as the average developers.

And yet, I still keep meeting ridiculously productive developers working in shitholes.

We’re going to fix this, right now. Thus, Stack Overflow Careers.

We’re going to completely turn the job market upside down, for the best software developers and the best companies.

This is a talent market. Developers are not even remotely interchangeable. Therefore, recruiting should work like Hollywood, not like union hiring halls of the last century.

In a union hiring hall, downtrodden workers line up like cogs, hoping to make it to the front of the line in time to get a few bucks for dinner.

In Hollywood, studios who need talent browse through portfolios, find two or three possible candidates, and make them great offers. And then they all try to outdo each other providing plush work environments and great benefits.

Here’s how Stack Overflow Careers will work. Instead of job seekers browsing through job listings, the employers will browse through the CVs of experienced developers.

Instead of deciding you hate your job and going out to find a better one, you’ll just keep your CV on file at Stack Overflow and you’ll get contacted by employers.

Instead of submitting a resume, you’ll fill out a CV, which links back to your Stack Overflow account, so that you can demonstrate your reputation in the community and show us all how smart you really are. To a hiring manager, the fact that you took the time to help a fellow programmer with a detailed answer in some obscure corner of programming knowledge, and demonstrated mastery, is a lot more relevant than the Latin Club you joined in school.

Employers can see how good you are at communicating, how well you explain things, how well you understand the tools that you’re using, and generally, if you’re a great developer or not. And they can see your peer reputation, so all that hard work you’ve been putting into helping people on Stack Overflow can karmically come back and help you upgrade your job to the latest, state-of-the-art, great place to work.

Stack Overflow has grown incredibly fast. After a year in business, it gets over a million page views most weekdays and currently stands as the 817th largest site on the Internet, according to Quantcast. It reaches 5.2 million people a month. But Stack Overflow Careers doesn’t have to be massive. It’s not for the 5.2 million people who visit Stack Overflow; it’s for the top 25,000 developers who participate actively. It’s not for every employer; it’s for the few that treat developers well and offer a place to work that’s genuinely fulfilling.

Read the FAQ, then go file your CV now, and upgrade your career.

Need to hire a really great programmer? Want a job that doesn't drive you crazy? Visit the Joel on Software Job Board: Great software jobs, great people.

"

Do you still see me?

Do you still see me?: "

I asked Mr. Nielson with tears
in my eyes if he could still see me.

He was shocked at the question and slightly confused. But he answered anyway; he said he didn’t compare me to anything especially my appearance before the accident.

Maybe he doesn’t, but I do.

Sometimes I actually scare myself.

Yesterday at the grocery store a woman turned around to me in the
line and with an exhausted look she blurted out:
“Oh, I feel just the way you look!!”

I wanted to curl up and cry in the fetal position right there in isle three. I looked away and tears stung my eyes. I wasn’t prepared to have confirmed to me what I had felt earlier that morning after I had scrubbed my fragile body in the shower until it bled.

Part of the deal I chose, I guess.

I guess I should just suck it up and remember my blessings.

But part of me hurts for outward beauty.

When I lie in my bed as still as can be, I feel like the Stephanie before. Out my eyes I feel just the same. I feel perfect. My skin isn’t strained and my joints don’t rip my thin skin over and over with each movement.

That’s why getting up is hard to do.

I had another perfect moment today as I lay on my couch.
The sky was a lovely shade of blue. My weeping willow’s leaves glowed bright yellow and it moved so slowly and graceful in the autumn wind.

I was so quiet.

I was so still.

And the Lord was talking to me. He was whispering to me his love for me. He was proud of me and I felt my blessings restored to me. He is so real. He is there. He sees so much more than we do. He is the light and truth and anything that is good that I have, is of Him.

And then, I felt beautiful.

Check out what's cooking at CuisineNie!

"

Wed, Nov 04, 2009 @ 4:25:27pm

Wed, Nov 04, 2009 @ 4:25:27pm: "

"